justnick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Teenage Mutant Ninja Ballerina Turtles So I got an email from Jade today. The font was crazy small,and you know, these ancient eyes ain't what they used to be. And because I'm just one of those kinds of people, I responded in a rediculously huge font. Just for shits and giggles. My friend Mike got kicked out of his house today, but then they let him back in this morning. His parents are total tyrants, and so me and my friend Gareth, who is as big an anarchist as I, were discussing how to save his yellow ass. I'll give you the highlights. N: We need to save him, man. G: Yeah, totally. N: Let's just go... abduct him, or something. G: His dad would call the cops SO fast. N: Fuck the po-lice, honkey G: Tru dat. Actually, no. He wouldn't call the cops, he'd just kick our asses. That guy has a crazy sword collection. N: Yeah, but can he weild them? G: Oh he can weild them alright. N: well then, we'll just have to be stealthy. Like Ninjas. G: Ninja turtles? N: Oh, you damn right. So then this is the plan. We get dressed up as Ninja Turtle Ballerinas,and- G: wait, ballerinas? N: Well, obviously. G: why? N: because no one is gonna call the cops on a ninja turtle ballerina. Jeez, man, pay attention. G: Sorry. N: Anyway, so while I'm distracting him with my one-man rendition of swan lake, you sneak up to Mike's room and grab him. Then we bolt. G: What if someone sees us? N: We say 'sorry, folks, official ninja turtle ballerina business.' G: No one's going to fuck with that. N: Exactly. G: And then we take him to Swaziland. N: Exactly. [brief silence] dude, why don't we rule the world yet? G: We're too good looking to dominate the masses. The world isn't ready. N: I'll give them time. yeah, so Im'ma bust him out. Pretty good plan, hmm? And shouldn't there be another word for male ballerinas? Something less feminine and more ambiguously homo-erotic but could still kick my ass, just like male ballerinas. Excelsior. 11:57 p.m. - 2003-11-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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