justnick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Justnick loves the kids Recvently, I was mugged. Ten guys, weapons, all very scary and dramatic. But that's not why we're here. We're here because my mugging, strangely enough, coincided with me getting very very ill. The combination of temporary xenophobia and sickness meant a lot of day-time television. And that meant a lot of children's television. Now, I don't know how many of you have watched much children's TV lately, but there's some weird shit being fed to the youth of our fine nation, I tell you what. For some reason, puppets seem to have made a comeback. And when I say puppets, I don't mean the cute, lovable, Muppet variety, I mean the odd, almost lifesize, shambling dead type muppet. You ever see a pupeteer trying to make a realistic walking motion with a seven foot sloth thing? The effect is like something out of a George Romero film. The worst part about the puppet thing is that they now have decided to push the television envelope by mixing the puppets with people. Such integration should not be allowed, because it's downright creepy. Maybe I'm just too old to suspend my disbelief, but I found myself wondering what kind of psychological disorder this ten year old actress will grow up with after years of dancing around talking to five foot puppets in a pink wig in front of a bunch of middle aged crewmen. And for the love of God, what's with that Snidely Whiplash moustache, Sporticus? Trust me, Google it. Almost everything on TV at that tme of day is disturbing on some fundamental level. I found myself yearning for the days of homosexual teletubbies being the biggest controversy, because I am personally filled with dread at handing the nation over to children raised not only on-gasp-instant messaging and rap music, but also puppet/human hybrids being perfectly acceptable. And damnit why won't Baby Bop just share her damn ball? That was the other thing. You look at a show for ten seconds out of boredom and fever nduced hallucination, and then change the channel because you're far too old to watch this sort of thing. But then you slowly discover yourself finding excuses to switch back to that channel. Not because you like it, you understand. And certainly not because you want to know what happened. No no, you're being ironic, right? ...right? Upon reintegration with normal society, I noticed a couple of things. First of all, I apparently wasn't funny anymore. "Knock Knock" "Who's There?" "Luke" "Luke Who?" "Luke Out!" "..........." What? I think to myself, that shit KILLED on Doodlebops. And in class, when the teacher needed someone to run down the hall and get a TA for them, everyone suddenly found something very interesting to look at on the desk directly in front of them. "Where's Sporticus when you need him?" I asked. One guy got it. I pitied him. Excelsior. 11:02 a.m. - 2006-10-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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