justnick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Spreading peace, love, and terrible terrible nightmares since 2002 BGM: "4000 Miles" - Blackalicious ft. Jurassic 5 I want to send a personal thanks to everyone who uses Firefox and goes to the trouble of reading this anyway. I still don't know what it is that's screwing up the layout for you people. So what have you guys done so far today? Me? Well, I sat around reading, and watching some re-runs of the Care-Bears in my underpants. What's that, ladies? You all want to marry me? I know, I know. Take a number, baby. What that, fellas? How did I know they were reruns? touch�. [Ed: The fuck? Who says 'fellas'?] Apparently, there's some kind of marathon going on, and I'm sorry to say that they've got me by the short 'n' curlies. I just wish I had some wacky tobaccy, cause personally I think 90% of children's entertainment was designed with stoners in mind. As it is I'll just have to settle for the sugar high. Oh, and the Fruit Loops in Beer. Hey, it's officially after noon on my day off, I'm entitled. (is he joking or not? people wonder) Any of you guys heard the new NIN track? 'Only', I think? Or, even better, seen the new video? (or at least, I assume it's new, I've only ever seen like two NIN videos) So what's the deal there? Is NIN trying to make a club track? I mean, if so, hey, cool, good for them, but... what the fuck? Hearing Trent Reznor and 50 Cent in the same bar in the same night has got to be a sign of the Apocalypse. Most people who know me know that I'm a little overly sensitive about the whole age difference in couples thing, (damn you, high school) so maybe I'm being a little judgemental here, but you folks tell me if you think this is weird or not. There's a guy from my work, who-- wait, wait. I have to give you a mental picture first, or else this whole scenario just isn't complete. Big guy, muscular/fat type, covered in acne scars, greasy greasy hair in that half-mullet Italian goomba haircut that Scheemer had. (Shining time station, anybody? George Carlin? Ringo? Whatsherface from Grease?) OK now that you've got that, it won't surprise you to learn that he doesn't have much luck with the ladies. That and the fact that he's a 38 year old shoe salesman/mafia towelboy. Anyhoo, he comes in to work the other day, looking just as happy as can be. When I ask what's up, he tells me he has a new girlfriend. Well, hey, good for you, I say. What's she like? Really good kisser, he says, really soft skin, really soft... er... bosom. OK, now guess the age. What do you think, like 20? 18? 17, even? Yeah, try 83. Eighty fucking Three! I mean, is it just me, or is that fucking disgusting? This woman was 45- older than he is now- when he was born! If ever I need to induce vomiting, I just have to picture those two bumpin' uglies. Eugh. I mean, good for her, I suppose, but what the hell is he thinking? So I've covered the Care Bears, Ringo Star (most work he's had in years), rampant alcoholism, Trent Reznor, and dirty dirty old person sex. All in a day's work, folks. I'd say my work here is done. Excelsior. 1:36 p.m. - 2005-08-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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