justnick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For everyone on top there's one who can replace BGM: "Hey you" - Bachman Turner Overdrive I went to Hurley's on Saturday. It reminded me of you. I mean, I was with Ginny, so the feelings were fleeting, but the memory of it wasn't, really. I walked by where we sat there, when I took your hand and stared into your eyes and tried to convey through sheer force of will that I understood, or at least was trying to. I wanted to convey that I would always be there, as long as you needed or wanted me. Hands and eyes can communicate their fair share, you know. I remember getting us the beer and pretending not to care that it was $7.00 a pint. I remember the forbidden kiss afterwards, and the way you hugged me, like I was the only thing separating you from the end of the world. I tried to convey, in a hug, that if necessary I would build you a new one. I remember that you were a biter. That piqued my intruige just a little, knowing that there was something unconventional and sincere I could try. That was a great night. Was I in love? No, I don't kid myself that way. I thought I might be eventally, though. There wasn't enough time, and there never is. I don't really think of it as a love lost, I've resigned myself to the fact that it probably won't ever happen, and probably won't work if it does. That's not to say I haven't given up entirely though, who knows what moments are on their way. I think of it now, and I think of a moment. Like waking up beside Stacie, that was a moment, I wrote a song about that one. That one moment where you wake up beside someone who's warm and soft and smiling, and in that moment time and reality and everything else are inconsequential, because for once, you really don't feel alone. It almost doesn't even matter who it is sometimes. I think of it like that, one of those moments, almost like I'm looking at someone else's life. I think of it as a sharing experience. We shared a few days of happiness and fear because we were young, and there was no particular reason not to. You're something of an enigma to me now, you know, with the new life, and new being, and new problems-perhaps the lack thereof. You're out having moments with other people, same as me, but the bar made me think of ours. And even though you may not think of me too fondly all the time anymore, you've got to admit... For a moment there, you were a whole new kind of happy. Excelsior. 9:34 p.m. - 2003-08-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||