justnick's Diaryland Diary


You mean I'm not an Emperor?

BGM: "Unbelievable" - EMF

I think I may have used this song already, but if I have, I'm not going to bother changing it back. Deal. So there was one amusing antecdote from work today. I was on my break when I pass the spa on Greene Avenue, where only beautiful women work, for some reason. The woman sitting behind the receptionist's desk, I would say it's safe to assume she was the receptionist, was wearing a tube top, but because of the way she was sitting, it looked like she was naked. I did a double take, and she noticed. "Looking for someone?" She asked amicably. In all my onfinite wisdom, I replied "Uh, no, it just looked like you were naked." Yep, I'm fast on my feet, I know. And so she laughs and says "Well I'm not. Come a little closer, you'll see." I smirked and stated flatly "Now why would I want to go over there if you aren't naked?" I then walked off, very proud of myself, but still fast enough to ensure she wouldn't be able to give the police a very good description. My mouth is going to get me in trouble... again... some day.

So I ripped off Alex and took the Axe effect quiz, despite the fact that Axe smells like warmed over ass. Here's what I got:

You have selected American woman with double jointed wearing skimpy field hockey skirt who will come on to you in dumpster behind dance club "like E. coli on a bus station hamburger." American woman will rip off everything but her jetpack, invite you to lick whipped cream off her stomach, then work her magic until you suffer from delusions of being an ancient Roman emperor.

Your match is PHOENIX. Spray Axe PHOENIX your arms and across your chest every day, and soon you will meet your customized dream girl.

The editor in me doesn't like the "with double jointed" comment, but hey, I could be an emperor. And personally, I don't understand why anyone would choose anything BUT the jetpack. Excelsior.

6:43 p.m. - 2003-07-19


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