justnick's Diaryland Diary

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I'll take you to The Hop, baby, when your skin clears up

In fuck da police news, a young man was fined $428 for making a comment to police that they didn't like about recent riots in Montreal North. Apparently free speech is a commodity sold by the government now. Why, in my day, when you said something mouthy to an official they just beat the crap out of you.

So, I managed to get a bug bite of some kind on my fucking eye, which is just as inconvinient as it sounds. It's the second most annoying bug bite I ever had. I won't subject you to the details, but suffice it to say that there are some bugs out there whom are far more adventurous than any of my ex girlfriends have ever been.

Upon watching forgetting Sarah Marshall (LTTP, I know), I'm left with a couple thoughts. First: I don't have nearly enough fat hawaiian friends. Hell, I'll even settle for fat and Japanese, as long as he's zen fat or funny fat, not scary fat or smelly fat or gangster fat. Know what I'm saying? Secondly, if Mila Kunis has genuine acting talent, why the hell hasn't she used it up until now? It makes no sense. She's an actual actor in this movie. An actor who acts, no less! Whereas she usually just... well, she's usually just bad, you know? And rarely attractive enough to justify the percieved lack of talent. In this one, though, she's both stunningly attractive and a natural presence onscreen, which is weird, because usually she's unconvincing at best. Maybe the more believable a person is as a character, the more physically attractive they seem to be. Body language and all that. I suppose that says something about self confidence in general, but let's get back on track.

Oh, and my favourite line?

"Because he's a man like anyone else, he just wants to be loved. You know? And every time he gets close to a human woman he ends up smothering and killing her. Which is a feeling I am familiar with. What?"

You and me both, brother. You and me both.

Claire: zowie

me: heyo

Claire: zo i'm back

me: welcome home
teehee

Claire: teehee, you dork

me: Invalid!

Claire: WOAH!
What if I just called you a cripple!

me: lol
cute
how was toronto?

Claire: cute schmoot, i'll FIGHT you.

me: you always do

Claire: you know it, geekpants
let's have a movie night this week

me: Agreed
it shall be done

Claire: and eat terribly
maybe pizza? beer? popcorn?
all good things

me: sorry, Im on a diet
but the rest sounds great

Claire: what'll the theme be?
that's stupid

me: ......
did I get you?
for a second?

Claire: well, i was momentarily concerned that you'd gotten stupid

me: Haha. well, possibly, but not regarding that
although, I spent a few days with an old friend of mine who has always had the uncanny ability to make me feel terrible about myself
and he gave me several speeches about eating better
but I digress
movie night, yes

Claire: no kidding? what'd he say?

me: oh, all kinds of things. How he noticed the weight Id gained, how "I see how you eat, man. This morning: cheese sandwich? White Bread? You know how bad for you that is?"
etc etc

Claire: yeah, well that shit is bad for you
that's easy to change though

me: thanks, I got that, yeah

Claire: haha
sorry
well it's a bachelor's diet

me: Jesus christ, its fucking CHEESE
its not like I was eating pig fat

Claire: is it good cheese?

me: when did the world go so crazy

Claire: hey, woah, i'm not crazy!
i was just commenting on the white bread
which is gross, in my opinion

me: I was eating the white bread because it was a leftover hamburger bun
I always eat whole grain
and you know what?

Claire: oh, well whatever then

me: even if I didnt?
its fucking BREAD

Claire: hahaha

me: Its not like Im eating arsenic

Claire: indeed, with all it's weight-inducing qualities

me: we all put radioactive cell phones beside our brains and breathe in toxic fumes from the giant bombs we ride in all day, and its the goddamn quality of grains that people give me a hard time about
do you realise how little sense that makes?

Claire: yes
indeed i do
i have a burning laptop on my legs
i'm going to BED
movie night? theme?
day?
what's a good day?

me: tuesday

Claire: I dig it
THEME:

me: i dunno
ill get back to you

Claire: nope
i've decided
daniel day-lewis

me: oi
why do girls all get moist in the loins for that crazy fucker?

Claire: gangs of new york and there will be blood
i just like his movies, dipshit
he picks 'em good

me: gangs of new york was mediocre at best, and there will be blood was an experiment in the human capacity for enduring discomfort in the name of art

Claire: oh fuck off
you're a pain
they are entertaining movies

me: no, Tom Yorke's soundtrack was a pain

Claire: i'm going to bite your shins

me: LOOK HOW MANY DISSONANT VIOLAS I CAN FIT INTO THREE MINUTES OF SONG! I AM AN ARTIST!

Claire: why don't you create something? eh?
you try being original!

me: How in the fuck was that soundtrack original
it was SO generic

Claire: you trying to figure out composition with four separate personalities!
okay, new theme:

me: excuses. He gets paid millions of dollars, he should damn well deliver

Claire: oh shut up

me: Its true! Its not like the guy is doing it for a charitable cause
he likes getting his asshole licked by every fanboy and critic and wannabe artist on the planet
well you know what Yorke? You look like Axel Rose with AIDS
there I said it
now we can move on

Claire: jesus christ nick
you should work for an arts review
and be that big asshole critic

me: why?

Claire: because you're a seething critic
you're basically frothing at the mouth

me: I calls 'em like I see's 'em
and yes, I ge a little worked up
but I tend to be alone in my opinions

Claire: well i have to sleep now
think on a good theme

me: you write one negative thing about radiohead and the hipster mafia comes to kill you

Claire: oh hush
i saw radiohead on friday

me: and? did it expand your consciousness?

Claire: i will not dignify that, you a-hole
i called you an A-HOLE!
BOWWOW!
okay, gootennight!

me: You love me
Goodnight, m'dear

Claire: spoo.

1:04 a.m. - 2008-08-18

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