justnick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I bet you his puffer would be hella cool BGM: "Drinking for 11" - Mad Caddies It's the weekend! For everyone else but me! Huzzah! Wait--no. That blows. Work today was interesting. I got in today, and from the rain yesterday there was about an inch of water on the ground in the stock room. (I'm pseudo-metric) That was fun. We also had a new display up marked "Gift Ideas!!!!" I thought that four exclamation points was a tad indulgent on the graphics departmement's part, but aside from that a few things struck me. First thing was that there can't possibly be any decent gifts to be had in a shoe store. Well, I was right. One item on the 'Gift Idea!!!!' table was an extra long shoe-horn, so you can use it without all that pesky bending. "It's a stocking-stuffer!" my boss explains. "If anyone were to give me a shoe-horn for Christmas, They would be using it to check their prostates for the next year." I solemnly replied. The other thing I saw was some of those little spheres you drop in your shoes to reduce odors. Now, ignoring completely the implications of recieving such a gift, I still thought there was a problem. "'Sneaker Balls'? OK, who thought up that name? 'sneaker balls'. yeah, I tried that oce, but she slapped me." No one got it but the female cashier, which worried me slightly. Well, after about a half hour's worth of work slaving away in the murky depths of the Tony Shoes stock basement, I began to realise that this water really was going to be a problem. For starters, it smelled like a urinal. So I ask my boss why we don't have some kind of drainage system. "We do!" He cries, exuding pride, and unveils a pump, which, like the rest of the store, is a fine piece of fourties memorabilia. While working, it smelled vaguely like a brushfire, looked oddly like a pump from a campy sixties sci-fi, and sounded uncannily like Darth Vader having an Athsma attack. It didn't work that well, either, unsurprisingly. My sister's boyfriend is going to Australia for semester on some kind of exchange in August, and she isnt all too happy about it. "You know," I inform her, reeking of good cheer, "I heard Australian girls put out." God, I'm so good at being a younger brother. And then, my father asks why she doesn't visit, since it's "Just Europe." Long Pause there. "Um... say what?" "What? She can go to Germany, it's not that bad." "Australia dad. Not Germany." "Oh. I was thinking Germany" He explained. Me, being ever compassionate and mindful of other people's insecurities, cried out "Achtung! Eine Kangaroo!" and laughed quite hard. I think a certain Texan beauty has been bringing out the smartass in me. Excelsior. 6:41 p.m. - 2003-12-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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