justnick's Diaryland Diary

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Now where's my apology for the Fantastic Four movie? I'm still waiting, Marvel

BGM: "Mama, look at Bubu" - Harry Belafonte

Will anyone notice? Kelsi and my mom will notice. No one else will notice.

I don't know what it is lately, but I swear I can't walk two steps without breaking a few toes or inadvertently causing a massive bridge fire. And people wonder why I stick to fiction.

So yeah, I've put off paying a bill or two, and cutting my hair. And yeah, I've put on a few beer-pounds. But I'm just so god damn sick of upsetting people with everything I do. I know it tends to be one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situations, and the default response is to worry about numero uno, but it's never really that simple, is it? Its all left me so utterly uninspired. Tell you what. I will now offer one Brobdingnagian blanket apology to the entire universe , and all of its various occupants, for everything I've ever done. Never hurts to be thorough, right?

I'm sorry I don't like to garden.
I'm sorry I upset you.
I'm sorry I lost my temper and made a smart-ass remark.
I'm sorry I lied.
I'm sorry I spilled my beer on your lap.
I'm sorry I made up that story so that I wouldn't have to go clubbing with you. I just can't handle the crowds anymore.
I'm sorry I don't keep in touch.
I'm sorry I drank too much that time.
I'm sorry I called you nasty things on the internet. The anonymity goes to my head.
I'm sorry I tried too hard.
I'm sorry I never try hard enough.
I'm sorry I disappointed you.
I'm sorry I drank too much all those other times, too.
I'm sorry I didn't attend your class.
I'm sorry I didn't trust you.
I'm sorry I didn't pay you back.
I'm sorry I don't make eye contact all the time, sometimes I get bored when you're talking to me.
I'm sorry I get bored sometimes when you're talking to me.
I'm sorry my layout doesn't work properly in firefox.
I'm sorry for making our team lose in gym class that time. Those times.
I'm sorry for making your kid play games that made you uncomfortable for reasons you couldn't quite define.
And I'm sorry I killed all those frogs. I honestly thought we were playing, and they would get a kick out of the whole affair.

Oh, and I'm sorry if this came out as hostile or maudlin.

There, I think that about covers it. Now please, for the love of God, everybody just stop being so angry at me. Seriously. Excelsior.

5:36 p.m. - 2007-06-16

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