justnick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM, WOMAN? Somewhere along the line, I stopped being 'one of the boys.' I suppose, if I'm honest with myself, that I never really was. I couldn't tell you why, though, to be honest. I know a guy who has the letters 'B-E-E-R' tattooed on his knuckles. He has dreadlocks down to his ass. Once, we found mold growing on them. I have not once seen him sober. He's not the brightest bulb in the box, obviously. Guy gets laid like crazy. It used to bother me to no end, but now I figure, hey, chances are he ain't gettin' past 30, so he's got to--ahem--get it out of his system while he still can. I know another guy, owns a few hotels. When we go out, he buys $500 bottles of premium vodka. It looks like a fancy book, with various awards I've never heard of (but assume must be prestigious) pasted all over the labels. Owners of bars have come out to personally shake my hand as I left just because I was with him. I know a guy who beats people up for the mob, and a bouncer who offered to kick the shit out of a guy because he was talking to a girl I was into. I've bought a round for the whole bar, I've poured overpriced hooch into some strange girl's mouth, I've drank brandy from a girl's bellybutton. I've gone to a bar with homeless Inuits because it was dollar beers and all my friends and I could afford, I can tell you where to get $17 4L pitchers, who will sell you beer after hours, and where the squatter parties are at. I've gotten in multiple bar fights, thankfully never got hurt, and on one occasion got 86'ed for smoking weed on the dance floor. Not one of my proudest moments, admittedly. I don't say all this to brag, I say it simply to reinforce the fact that I have a robust social life. And yet somehow, when someone is talking to my high school friends about who is going to be at some party, they'll say 'the boys, Nick," etc etc. Somehow I am not one of the boys. Same deal with my college friends. I don't drink enough to get along with the guys at work, and I drink too much to get along with the people from school. I suppose I would have been one of the boys with Jeff, but I'm not French. I might have been one of the boys with the Ottawa crew if any of them were... you know, boys. I really don't know where I'm going with this, to be honest. And I apologize for how pretentious this entry had to seem, what with all the bragging. But I got a call from my friend Lindsay before who informed me that she's about to "...meet up with the boys, if you want to come." I've known 'the boys' three years longer than her. I freakin' started the boys. Since when am I not one of the freakin' boys? Since I started hating sports and casual sex, I suppose. Bah. BAH. Bah! .... ...Excelsior, or whatever. 11:19 p.m. - 2008-11-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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