justnick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Namibia is for Lovers This one is for Frances, 'cause she's always asking what happened to it. I wrote this a few years ago, back in 2000, I think. It was something I cooked up while attempting not to learn in math class. I came accross it randomly on an old sheet of paper and thought I'd put it up. Anyway, here 'tis. DOA *One detective on his way to a crime scene. He's in the car, and pulls up to his partner's house* B: "What in god's name is that, Lowenstien?" L: "Mustard, boss. Ham on rye." B: "No no, under the mustard. That... shirt. I use the term loosely." L: "It's suede, Boss." B: "You still own a suede shirt? How very groovy of you, Lowenstien." L: "I'm a hipster, Boss." B: "Hipster?" L: "They call me the space cowboy, Boss." B: "Do they, Lowenstien?" L: "In Spain, Boss. I have history there." B: "I'm sure. But I'll stick to Lowenstien." L: "Mmmm." B: "We're here." L: "Where else could we be?" B: "Shut up, Lowenstien." L: "Can't help it, Boss. I'm a philosopher. A deep thinker." B: "I'm sure you're the next Plato, Lowenstien, but we don't pay you to think." L: "Yes you do, Boss. I'm a detective." B: "That's what you think. I just keep you around for the stunning fashion advice." *They walk into a house. Loud music is playing and An officer is standing by* B: "What do we got?" O: "Take a look for yourself. Next room." *three unmoving bodies on the floor. Two in short skirts, one naked old man* L: "Wow." O: "Father Rudolph O'Malley. This is dead whore one, and dead whore two." L: "Well way to go, Rudy." O: "They OD'd. He passed out and hit his head on the table. Hard." B: "And he's a priest?" O: "Yep." L: "Ooh, God's going to have some nasty words with him." B: "Now, I may be a tad rusty on my priestly matters, but that can't be Christian." L: "So he's dead?" *Paramadics enter and place Priest on a stretcher. He groans almost inaudibly* B: "He lives! Wowzers, two points for Jesus." L: "Does he really need points?" B: "He saved a junkie priest, you'd want recognition too." L: "He doesn't have anything better to do?" B: "He's an odd guy, Lowenstien. Be glad you're heathen." L: "Always, Boss." B: "Now, color me quirky, but didn't the report say dead guy? If the priest's breathing, who bit it? I don't see any dead males." O: "Um, I said whores. I never said what kind." B/L: "Ah/Oh." It's funny that I hate the Gilmore girls scripts so much when this reads exactly like a Law & Order/Gilmore Girls crossover. Such is art, I suppose. Excuse the improper format, but I'm too lazy to html all of that. Anyway, so there's a little evolution of Nickerbokker's writing or something. I don't know, deal with it. Nighty-night. Excelsior. 2:11 a.m. - 2006-06-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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