justnick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I could've fucked her you know. I could be doing it right now. I mean, I've always been interested in her, and she made it perfectly clear tonight that she wanted to. But she also made it pretty clear that it would mean next to nothing to her. That she found me appealing--and I did look good tonight, I feel comfortable saying that--but I definitely wasn't the only one. It's just not what I want. I don't give a shit about the sex. I want a girl to have a crush on me. To be excited to see me, to hear from me, to touch me, to smell me. So I go crazy at the slightest hint of affection. Counter-productive, I know. But why does everything in the world tell me that's wrong? That I'm supposed to care about sex and only sex. I turned away a girl named Lisa once. She was painfully attractive. But I wasn't ready. That's something you aren't allowed to say as a guy. "I don't feel ready." Girls can say it all they want, but if a guy says it, it must be because he doesn't really like her, or maybe he's gay. I'm not gay. I love ladies. I love naked ladies. I just don't like the physical without the emotional. Why does the world at large act like that's such a crime? 2:18 a.m. - 2008-09-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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