justnick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And don't think I forgot about you, Lil' Kim. You still need to pick a nationality What the shit happened to Nelly Furtado? Can anyone give me some clues as to what lead to this transformation? She finally finished her Pupal stage, apparently. Emerged from her cocoon as a full blown piece of musical T&A. No pun intended. We in the scientific community refer to this process as the 'Aguilera cycle'. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, check out her new video for 'promiscuous'. Oh, and also, I don't think she really knows what that word means. If she does, that scares me even more. Like, it's one thing to whore yourself out on TV in the name of capitalism, but it's another thing entirely to just out and out call yourself a hooch. I hope she's trying to reinvent the word for slang purposes, (read 'ill,' 'sick,' 'bad,' 'wicked,' 'supadupafly') because otherwise I weep for the future of the music industry. 'Here's the first single from your American Idol, "I left my heart at the circle jerk (Bukkake 4 lyfe)" OK, and for those of you who aren't frightenned enough about the state of the world already, the US senate changed the constitution to add a bit that banned gay marriage, Iran's big kahuna wants to make Christians and Jews wear identification badge thingies, and the US/Mexico border is going to be militarised. I read a story about that the other day, where they were talking about these US state troopers like they were huge heroes for throwing some illegal immigrants in jail and throwing away the key, screwthetrialimanamericandamnit type deal. You know what these vicious, society-killing terrorists were doing? They were running a dairy farm in the desert north of the Mexican border. Good job, guys. Way to git 'er done. I'm sure the huge dairy crash will now correct itself, and be remembered in posterity for all time. The God fearing cattle of the United States salute you. So I was watching TV the other day (shocker) and you know what was playing on the sports channels? There was a spelling bee on one and curling on the other. Now, I have always been under the impression that curling matches and spelling bees were kind of on the same levels as Piano recitals. Everyone there is either spelling, curling, related to someone who is, or just slept there last night. But if it's on frikkin TSN, that means there have got to be some fanatics out there, right? Like, are there actually people out there with score cards, keeping track? 'Well, I put down two bills on Montpellier Junior High to beat the spread, the moderators in Burlington always use greco-roman root words, and the competing team is stronger on Latin root words. I figure they got this. I mean, they're 3 and O for the last three seasons, you know?' Yes, Kelsi, I know those are the same thing. Shut up. ;) Oh, and Nelly? Darling? You can't rap. And you just aren't cut out to be a dancer. And the whole 'ghetto diva' bit? No one's buying it. You're from BC. I only say all of this because I care about you. I hope you know that. Excelsior. 12:09 a.m. - 2006-05-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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