justnick's Diaryland Diary

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A step in the right direction

I was having an insomniac night when my phone buzzed to life. It was a text from her room mate. Are you up? She wants to know.

Yes.

Is she with you?

Obviously, no she was not. Shouldn't she be with you? I ask. Why would she come to me?

A million possibilities fill my mind.

Finally, phone rings. It's her. She wants me to know she's fine, she had just gone for a walk because she was drunk and angry and her room mate flipped out. She doesn't sound happy to be on the phone with me. Is everything OK? I ask. Fine. What were you angry about? Oh, nothing. She shouldn't have woken you.

Her tone makes it clear its really none of my business in her mind.

And all of a sudden, it feels like ancient history. An hour ago it was so fresh I could smell her. And then I spoke to her on the phone and it was so different and awkward, and hearing her voice was not the same as I remembered it, and suddenly the whole relationship feels like it happened a year ago.

I'm sure I'll still miss her tomorrow. Hell, I still miss her now. But maybe that will help.

5:38 a.m. - 2008-06-01

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